Self-doubts are most often just negative thoughts that your mind may use to stop you from making changes and to keep you within the comfort zone.

Self-doubt thoughts might come from childhood and early experiences, from different attempts in the past that we might have not been so successful in and are reinforced by repetition. It's doesn't matter where these thoughts come from, it matters how you deal with them when they come into your mind and start affecting how you feel and behave.

Strategies to manage Self-Doubt

1.     Accept your self-doubting thoughts

Each second you have so many thoughts in your mind. Some are positive, some are neutral, some negative and some irrational – self-doubt thoughts are just a part of those irrational thoughts. Instead of fighting, resisting, or being overwhelmed by negative thoughts or feelings, try to accept them. You don't have to like them, just acknowledge that they are present and allow yourself to sit with them.

What matters is not what kind of thoughts come into your mind, but what you choose to do with them after they appeared.

 2.     Learn from past experiences

Those experiences when you have achieved your goals, went for what you wanted, made progress and had successes.

How many times when you doubted yourself or feared something negative would happen, did that thing actually happen? The Answer: not very often at all. Was it really as bad as you predicted? Probably not.

If you look to the past and see how well things have gone many times despite those self-doubts, then it becomes easier to let go of them, to focus on the more likely positive outcome and to take action.

3.     Talk to someone about your self-doubt

When you keep your thoughts on the inside, they can become distorted, exaggerated and not very much in line with reality or reasonable expectations.

Just letting them out and saying them out loud can often help you to hear how exaggerated these thoughts have become. And by talking about those doubts with someone who is supportive, you can also get a change in perspective.

 4.     Accept that you, like everyone else, are not perfect

It's a significant difference in telling yourself that you are not good enough or reminding yourself that you still have things that you should improve on.

Acceptance involves knowledge of oneself, with good parts and less good parts. Acceptance comes from the fact that you understand that you also have certain things that you do not like at this time, specific abilities you want to develop, certain information we want to gain, but also the idea that people make mistakes and sometimes perform less well.

It’s important that you accept ourselves as you are at this time, while also making a personal commitment to yourself to improve certain things you like less.

5.     Stop putting pressure on yourself

You can only do your best in any given situation, taking into consideration all the factors that are influencing you at that moment. You, like everyone else, do not live in an ideal context in which it all boils down to you being capable or incapable of doing something.

Your life is influenced by so many things, and you can only do your best giving the context and conditions that you are facing, and all the factors that are influencing your. So, take all those things into account, try to prevent or manage them as much as possible and give yourself a break.

 6.     Don’t get stuck in the compassion trap

When you compare ourselves to others, it’s very unfair to yourself. You usually crop/take from that other person's experience only the positive results, the highs, but you don't have the entire picture and you don’t know the struggles that person has been through.

It’s like comparing not apples to pears, but grapes to watermelons. We are all unique and different, we have different personalities, life experiences, abilities and skills, and they might be very far apart from those of someone else's.

Instead, compare yourself to yourself. To see how far you have come. To see what you've overcome.

In the end, I will leave you with this quote.

Our doubts are traitors that make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.

- William Shakespeare, in Measure For Measure

Let’s Talk

If you are having difficulties navigating your inner critic and want to discover effective strategies to support you in managing your self-doubt, get in touch. We can discuss your needs and goals and find ways to personalize this process so you can get the most out of it.